Top Ten Albums: Everybody Knows This is Nowhere

In lieu of climbing, I've decided to compile and review my top ten favorite albums in an effort to figure out why I like them so much. As they're finished I'll post them here, in no particular order. First up is Neil Young's classic, Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere.

Originally released in 1969, this album is one of the oldest on my list, but it sure doesn't sound that way. The production value is high, the vocals are clear, and the individual instruments are well separated in the mix. But there are still rough edges: the guitars are harsh on the higer notes, the bass gets muffled under the drums, and the cymbals wash out at points, and that's what gives the album authenticity. It feels like it was made by a band in a room, not, say, Billy Corgan by himself in a isolation chamber. Also, the album starts with Cinnamon Girl, which is one of the best songs ever written.

Everybody Knows alternates between being very tight and focused, as in the aforementioned Cinnamon Girl or the title track, and being loose and free, such as Down By The River or Cowgirl In The Sand. The latter two songs reach dangerously close to "jam territory," but the band never succumbs to full-on Phishdom. Instead of some idiots trading out extended, non-melodic solos, the band stays firm in the song's groove while Neil adds tasteful (side note: yes, sometimes Neil goes overboard with the whole one-note-solo thing, but whatever, I like it) noodling on the guitar. The point is that, even when jamming, the band keeps it simple and doesn't over-complicate the song. Nothing sounds busy because the band sits back and lets the song dictate where to go. The prime example of this is Cowgirl. The round, heavy bass line, full of pauses and breaths, counteracts the sharply accented rhythm guitar, while the drums keep the song moving forward at a steady pace. The guitars and bass bounce all over the place during the verses, but once the vocals come in for the chorus the whole band snaps back into rigid time, delivering a poppy, concise moment amidst the otherwise loose jam.

The album is stylistically diverse, with heavy, long jams (River, Cowgirl), straight-forward rockers (Cinnamon Girl), and even country-tinged front-porch jams (The Losing End, Everybody Knows). Even the slower, ballad-y songs (Round and Round, Running Dry), which usually put me to sleep, work to vary the pace of the album. And while those latter songs I don't cue up individually, I don't skip over them when I listen to the full album, which says something of their necessity to Everybody Knows.

As an added bonus, the record makes a great soundtrack for evening treks westward on I-70. Like to Joe's Valley, where I'm going Friday. Trent's Mom awaits...

Joe's Valley

Usually when the spring weather in Colorado sucks the best thing to do is bail to Joe's Valley. This was not the case last week, as somebody must have hijacked Cobra's Weather Dominator and used it to devastate Utah with snow. Lots of snow.

On Monday the tops of the Jordan and Eden boulders were buried under a foot and a half of snow. Blackout was obscured by a two foot thick mound of ice, though the Gentlemen's Project was completely dry. The Masterpiece was under so much snow that the entire boulder blended into the hillside. Trent's Mom had a waterfall streaming down from the topout and the start holds were seeping.

 Though the holds on Worst Case Scenario were dry, the top was a sheet of ice. We had to camp in the left fork, as all the parking and camping sites in the right fork were inaccessable. Hiking up to Battletoads/Playmate of the Year would involve post-holing up to your thigh, and anything past the mine was approacable only by snowmobile. Ghost King had a nice drizzle of snowmelt covering all the holds, and the other lines on that boulder were 100% wet. Nevertheless, our small posse saddled up and rode into New Joe's, where there were dry boulders to be found.

Matt Miller sends Chips

 

I Would Rather Be Climbing Her

 Resident Evil

The rest of the week was a frustrating battle with conditions. Despite lots of snow removal, the start of Trent's Mom remained wet until Friday. The Jordan boulder was 90% wet when we left on Friday, and there looked to be enough snow left on top to keep it that way for another week or so. Eden never dried out while we were there, though there wasn't any snow left on the topout. Ghost King was dry on Friday, until another snow storm blew through and soaked it again. 

On the plus side, I got to check out a few problems I'd never seen before: Black Dahlia, The Obelisk, Groundation, and Prince of Thieves. I've always been interested in Prince of Thieves, but I must say that I lost most of that interest upon firsthand inspection. Several of the holds are sharp and uncomfortable, and the line is less obvious than I imagined. Also, it's quite tall and the landing is not exactly a confidence booster. Still, it has nice black rock and would be a very worthy send, should the mood strike. The other three problems looked very good.

I didn't get to climb nearly as much as I wanted, as most of the things I was psyched on were in some stage of weather-based unclimbability, but it was a good time with good friends, so I can't complain too much. Too, I got to play with my camera a bit more than usual, which was nice.

A

Matt really needs a cowboy hat, and a blade of grass hanging from his lips

As a warning to anyone heading out to Joe's in the next week, be careful! Every boulder has been soaking up water for the last week and holds are waiting to explode. They Call Him Jordan has already broken, and we all know what happened to The Knocking Room. Also, the hillsides, especially in the left fork, are very unstable. Each day the road was littered with fresh rockfall, and throughout the week we could hear the rumbling of rockslides. Spooky. 

Nemisis Climbs

Everyone has at least one Nemisis Climb. Jaeger would probably call every climb a Nemissis Climb, even climbs he has flashed as warmups. Whatever the case may be, here are a few of mine:

The Nickness
As mentioned in the previous post, The Nickness shuts me down. Specifically, the first move, which I never have done. The move involves hanging as much weight as possible off the left arm while pushing off a little chip with the left foot. The right foot just smears under the roof for balance and all that is necessary to execute the move is to reach with the right hand for the sloper/pinch and control a small swing. For someone of my height there is almost no pulling involved; the right hand hold is well within arms reach. But I can't get myself to hang off the left long enough for my right hand to swoop out to the hold. Much falling, much anger, much frustration. By now failure on the move is entirely mental, as I pretty much expect to fall as soon as I pull on to the climb.

Beyond Life
I've tried this climb many times over the last few years, and have never been able to latch the critical right hand sidepull. Heel hooks are not really my thing, see, and heel hooks that require total body engagement are especially not my thing. When I get set up to reach up to the sidepull my body sticks out from the wall and I lose a good deal of reach. To do this move I know I need to get as much weight as possible over my right heel, and to do that I need to pull my hips into the wall. Instead, I worry that my ACL is going to explode and end up lunging clumsily toward the sidepull with no tension or precision. Jaeger is good at this move. Hayden is really good at this move. I am not.

Veritas
 The Bear-toss. This one I've actually done all the moves on, though the crux move, yeah, only did that move once. And it wasn't from the start. And I fell immediately after. Anyway, this seems to be a climb that is either incredibly easy for you (such as Adam Strong doing laps with a cigarette dangling from his lips) or exceptionally difficult. Yes, that statement can be applied to nearly every climb, but with Veritas it is more distinct. I haven't decided yet if it's best to keep my right foot low and twist in to make the reach to the undercling or if I should just drop my right foot and shoulder up to the undercling nice and square with the wall. So far both methods have left me in a heap on the pads with my spine feeling like it's been corckscrewed 90 degrees the wrong way.

Failure on climbs is never fun, and the excitement of working projects usually wears off when progress stops. When this happens it is easy to get frustrated and write off the climb in question, which, for me, usually results in a downward spiral of anger that usually leads to impatience which always leads to more failure. It is very important for me to stay positive about a climb, even when said climb is a prime source of aggravation and discontent. In the case of the three aforementioned climbs, I try to focus on how spectacular they are. All three have high quality rock and unique movement, and at the end of the day the desire to stand on top of them overpowers any lingering taste of defeat. I do feel sorry though, for Justin, because I can't think of any redeeming qualities of Mongolian Cosmonaut.

Sessions in the Sun

Though the weather may have been great, blue skies tend not to matter much in the icy canyon that is Newlin Creek. Unless you're fifteen years old and have a metabolism that more closely resembles nuclear fusion. In that case, throw on some shorts and boulder, son.

 

  

  

Though the temperature easily dipped below 40 and no one else climbed, the young Shay-Nemirow fearlessly cast aside the safety of warmer garments and made several worthy attempts on The Nickness. I think it's safe to say the ol' finger injury isn't slowing him down anymore. My attempts on The Nickness were not nearly as worthy, however, and the climb has now established itself high atop the Nemisis List. For whatever reason this climb shuts me down hard; I've tried it to some degree on seven or eight occasions and have never managed the first move. I know what I'm doing wrong each time and I am very aware of what I need to do to do the move, I just can't seem to bring any of that information into play when I try it. Mental battles like this can be supremely frustrating, but I enjoy the difficulty of working through them. Sending wouldn't be nearly as rewarding if everything came without challenge. Either way, it was inspiring to see Asher climb so well on the problem.

Those that are interested in Newlin, be warned: there is a lot of snow, and though many of the problems are climbable, almost none are topoutable. Too, the road to the parking lot is a quagmire the likes of which I have never seen before.

Long Dogs

In place of rad climbing shots, here are dogs*:

Oliver, Long Dog extraordinaire:

Stella, Long Dog in training:

 

  

  

Mass hysteria!

*Note: these dogs are actually quiet, well mannered, and calm. It's almost like if you train your dogs to behave well, they do, and if you let them run amok, they do. Weird...